I Don't Understand

Gender Labels - I don't understand why every single telly programme in Britain that involves real human beings (as distinct from slebs), involves a presenter who insists on calling everyone "guys". Not just on telly, oh no - but in restaurants, even fairly posh ones, my wife is referred to, en bloc with me, as a "guy". Why oh why "guys", guys? My wife is not a guy ... unless I missed something profound in GCSE Biology.

The Four Seasons - I don't understand why when ever someone decides that they can play the violin quite well, that they release another version of Vivaldi's Four Seasons more awful than the last. Some classical music wasn't built to be funked [careful spelling there] up and to sound like it is being played in hurry with a handsaw. Vanessa Mai, but Nigel Kennedy - you may not. Let us take our Lady Blunt Stradivariuses and play nice. 

Disclaimers - It is now a statistical fact that the statistical frame of reference has changed. No more can we be concerned with the amount of our life spent sleeping, queuing and sitting in the Throne of Contemplation. No, we have a new measure. That measure is delivered in the voice, no less, of Antandeck, that parted conjoined multiple birth of TV fame. I now know that approximately 83.556% of my life will be spent listening to the words "phones lines are now closed. Any calls made now will not count, but you may still be charged". I always knew this but only the eejits and residents of the borderlands of Muppetry did not, and so lost homes and satellite dishes occured as a result of mobile phone -TV interaction. Let them call - let us regard it as an idiot tax and save priceless years of our lives by the removal of this disclaimer. I can read the future, ladies and gentlemen. Somewhere, this very day, a window-licking sort will be undertaking an action that will result in Frightened PC UK sending out the following warning before every programme: "Please take your finger out of that plug socket. Any entry made now may not cause your death, but you are sure to be charged" 


Bloggers - when a blogger marries another blogger, what are their off-spring called? 

Charity Begins at Home - I am all for charity and being philanthropic. If I had the cash, I would be that way too. However, we recently learned that Dave is giving away another £800million for vaccines to kids in other countries. Great. Except that this exceeds that amounts given by almost every one else put together, apparently. This in the same week when 30,000 of our war heroes, former nurses and doctors, people's granddads and grandmas, people's aging mothers and fathers are risking homelessness from their care homes because the cash is running out ... at the very time when they reluctantly ask society to help them after a life of service (and tax payments), and apologise for being a burden. Balance, people; balance!  

It's this heat - makes me grumpy (except for the nuptial bloggers, that is nice)