Please Don't Panic (Much)

I mostly have me a fum

News is emerging of a possible faith shortage over the critical Easter Season. Reports suggest that priests are preparing for industrial action over plans to make them go to church on Easter Day - a day that the law prohibits most businesses from opening. 

In an effort to assuage the growing sense of concern over possible faith shortages, the Prime Minister, Mr Lord David of Cameron said

"If there's an opportunity to top up your prayers if a strike is potentially on the way, then it's a sensible thing if you're able to do that," 

In an effort to be helpful, lesser known politician Maud Francis commented, that in order to avert a possible situation of shortage in faith that we keep

I mostly have me five fums

"a little Bible in the garage as well"

Commenting outside St. Paul's Cathedral following Humanist Morning Prayers with Vigil and Exposition of the Dawkins Relic, one such Humanist Norbert Wedontbelieve accused Messrs Cameron and Francis of causing a faith panic and driving people in Churches. One woman is said to have been converted to Christianity as she placed a Bible in the garage. 

Meanwhile, Lambeth Palace are preparing to redecorate.