Too Full To Think

It's a funny time, is this. No; that's not right. It is a very arduous time that I find myself in, and which my beloved family find themselves in. The reason for this is we are, in many ways, in another 'airport departure lounge' - but this one is the long wait for the flight out of Aylesbury. 

Leaving is a strange thing I am fast discovering. The kids know that things are on the brink of complete change but do not fully understand or grasp that this home of theirs will soon become part of their past. To be honest, they have turned into little monsters of late, and I blame the impending move and its effects on Jo and I. 

The thing about airport lounges, is that you are in no hurry to conclude your holiday, but you are in a hurry to get home. It's a funny paradoxical place that forces you to confront the need to leave one place and arrive at another. No-one enjoys that 'airport' experience very much, either. 

This last week and the weeks to come have been and are characterised by 'goodbye'. We were treated to a party last week, I made my last assembly to the kids at school, today sees their Leaver's Service and Sunday the last time I shall visit one of the churches in the Team. So much 'goodbye', and to tell you the truth, I hate it. I am not good at 'byes'. People will see me weepy and messy for the first time. 

Of course, this isn't to say that I am not deeply excited about the new place, because I am. The problem I have is that my head is just too full to think any more. I lay on the settee in the evening and stare vacantly at the TV, or fiddle with my new gadget. I have no space in my head to think about the new place, hard as I try. 

How do I begin to say goodbye to all these wonderful people, into whose lives I have gently insinuated myself? How do I say goodbye to hundreds of children? I just don't know. I have to trust that the words will come and I will not make too much of a fool myself. What I do know is that all this notwithstanding, I want to climb on the 'plane' with my family and fly away. It's time to go and I want it over with.