Wednesday, December 15, 2010

[Not] Women and The Church

As I sat enjoying a Carol Service recently, my mind did what my mind does - and wandered. It wandered onto the subject of women and the Church (in a good way, so clean your mind out with soap and water). I reflected on the situation in the Church of England, and the organisation that represents women in the church. It caused me to snort audibly (during a prayerful silence, regrettably) when I noticed now unfortunate it was that Women In The Church would have generated the acronym WITCH - and I suppose that has a great deal to do with the slightly more detatched nomenclature Women And The Church or WATCH

My mind trundled along the towpath towards an organisation for Men and The Church, noting that it would bring to birth a perhaps suitably named group called MATCH. It then occured to me that '...And The Church' lent itself well to a whole array of appropriate acronyms:

MATCH - Men And The Church
MysMATCH - Mysogenistic Men And The Church
REMATCH - Returning Men and The Church [added]
CATCH - Cricketers And The Church
LATCH - Lockmakers And The Church
SWATCH - Sellers of Wallpaper And The Church
PATCH - Puppies And The Church
THATCH - Tile-less Houses And The Church
SATCHEL - Schoolkids And The Church et L'Eglise (an Anglo-French conglomeration)
DESPATCH - Death and Embalming Service Providers And The Church
SNATCH - Stealers, Nickers And The Church
ATTACH - Adhering To Tradition At Church
HATCH - Homebirths And The Church
BATCH - Bakers and The Church
RATCHET -  Restorers to the Automotive Trade and the Church to Enable Torque

...and taking the '...In The Church' model

DITCH - Diggers In The Church
BITCH - Bigots In The Church
LYTCH - Last time You visit The Church
TITCH - Tiny people In The Church
PITCH - Putters In The Church
GLITCH - Glory Lost In The Church
SNITCH - Storytelling Needlessly In The Church
ITCH - Irritation And The Church
NEITZSCHE - Now That's just Silly...

...plus random others

MUCH - Mis-Understood Church
BOTCH - Bloggers Of The Church
WRETCH - Weird Reaction To Eating at The Church
CROTCH - Central Regions Of The Church
ZILCH - Zoroastrianism In The Local Church
PREACH - Persistent Rehearsed Expulsion of AIR and The Church

...and so the list goes on. There will be many that I have forgotten or not thought about, and if you read this and think of any, please add them below. What's in a name, they say. Quite a lot it would appear.

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